The Third Eve

Jesus Tax

October 14, 2008 · 12 Comments

Some time ago, a blogger whose sincere faith I respect and admire publicly wrestled with the process of moving his family to a new city and renting a home. As sincere and devout a real-life Christian as I have met anywhere, Aaron was humble enough to share with his readers what thoughts went through his mind as he grappled with the issue of considering renting a house that was very nice versus renting a house that was good enough. What he shared with his readers was about prosperity and material goods. It was about what he believed was the Christian response to the suffering and poverty in the world.

kimble1 by you.

Aaron is not one of those Christians who just goes to church and nods his agreement when the pastor says we ought to give to the poor, feed the hungry, care for the widow and the orphan. He and his wife have adopted orphans, and they’re trying to adopt two kids from the poorest nation in the western hemisphere, Haiti. They’ve been there and seen the poverty, and like any American who has had the chance to live, stay, or be with the poor elsewhere in the world and then returned to the most prosperous country on earth, they’ve been changed forever.

The marble or granite countertops in one house Aaron considered renting became a metaphor for more-than-enough, and it was interesting to read his blog as people commented, displaying their values and sometimes condemning their brothers and sisters and showing their own prejudices. One woman, for example, wrote this:

I refuse to ask God for a “dream” home (whatever that means anyway) when I know the conditions of most people in the world. It’s pretty sick, really. Like you said, nothing wrong with marble countertops, but I totally get what you’re saying.

Another commented:

What ever happened to having just enough? As an American what you just did is amazing! Thank you for sharing your heart. It would be so easy to justify the huge house with “big family” and such.

And yet another wrote:

Love this post. When I read the paragraph about the 3,000 sq ft house I was secretly thinking, “No, don’t do it, it’s a trap!” I feel the same pull towards wanting “nice things”, but I don’t think God calls us to lives of “nice things.” Not sure where the boundary is, I guess we all have to find it for ourselves. Anyway, hard to articulate, but thanks for the great post.

And, finally:

What a good reminder to what is really important! Congrats on finding the RIGHT house.

 

the politics of stuff

The climate today politically seems all about money and resources, and I’ve been wanting to write about kimble2 by you.money and stuff for a long time. I have many thoughts and experiences related to money, and even more questions. When does a person have too much? How little is too little? In a country where even the so-called “poor” have a car, two televisions, at least one cell phone, and at least one gaming system under the roof (according to the U.S. Census Bureau), do we even know what poverty is?

Who has the right to decide that you have “too much” and who has the right to force you to give up what you work a 40 or 50 hour week to earn? If you can make more money than another person because you’re more intelligent or harder working or have a dad with a plumbing business who passes the business on to you, do you owe something to the welfare mom across town, who is raising her third child from the third man she had a relationship with, the guy who lives with her illegally in her government-subsidized housing, and sells pot out of the back bedroom? How much money do others have the right to take from those of us who work hard, who teach our children to be self-reliant, and who are honest with our money? Do we really want our hard-earned money to go to people who refuse to do anything for themselves? If we knew real poor people, and were intimately acquainted with people who live on welfare or survive on food stamps, would our opinions and feelings change? If we needed government handouts, would our ideas about handouts change?

Who says how much is “too much”? Why do sincere Christians argue and wrangle about McCain policies versus Obama policies when we have only one holy book belonging to our faith, one Bible for the Christian, “One God, one Lord, Jesus Christ, one baptism?” There may be two or four or more political parties, but there is only one Bible for the Christian, one Torah for the Jew, one Dhammapada for the Buddhist. What do our religions teach about money and charity? What did our great spiritual masters say?

our christian nation ain’t so christian after all

What does the Bible teach about stuff and money, anyway? Do we even know? Do we want to know?

kimble3 by you.I find that most people do not know what the Bible teaches, and many don’t want to know. They get everything they need to know from the often scandalous behavior of self-proclaimed Christians. I find that people don’t read what Jesus taught because they are too busy judging the behavior of people who claim to be Christian. And you can’t blame them.

Still, I’ll bet that most people don’t know that Jesus and Buddha in effect pretty much taught along the same lines regarding money and stuff. There’s not a lot of disagreement among the world’s major religions, in fact, about caring for the sick, the hungry, the poor, the prisoner, the naked. Everyone should be charitable, they teach.

Stuff and money are always issues because they provide for our survival and provide comfort. It’s not surprising, then, that money was an issue in Biblical times just as money is an issue today. Jesus talked about money more than he talked about love, actually (bet you didn’t know that!). One of the occasions Luke recounts is this one:   

[Jesus] therefore began saying to the multitudes who were going out to be baptized by him, “You brood of vipers, who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? “Therefore bring forth fruits in keeping with repentance, and do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham for our father,’ for I say to you that God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. “And also the axe is already laid at the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.”

And the multitudes were questioning him, saying, “Then what shall we do?”

And he would answer and say to them, “Let the man who has two tunics share with him who has none; and let him who has food do likewise.” And some tax-gatherers also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Collect no more than what you have been ordered to.” And some soldiers were questioning him, saying, “And what about us, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not take money from anyone by force, or accuse anyone falsely, and be content with your wages.” Luke 3:10-14

So this is something Jesus taught about money and stuff: show your goodness and your virtue through actions. Share. Be generous to those who have less than you have. Don’t merely say you’re righteous: act righteous. Be a good tree. Bear good fruit.

jesus tax

I wonder what the fan of literal Bible interpretation would say to Jesus’ tax scheme suggested by “let the man kimble6 by you.who has two tunics share with him who has none.” That’s a 50% charity. That’s a 50% Jesus tax. I wonder, my fellow evangelical Christian conservative, are you willing to give up 50% of what you have to the poor, even if the poor are mentally ill, shiftless pot-smoking, fornicating, or uneducated folks? Even though the poor one you’re helping is a 300 pound black man, drinking his Budweiser breakfast and living in subsidized housing with his latest girlfriend, having produced seven or eight children who are all being provided for through welfare, food stamps, and Medicaid as you have to earn and pay for everything you eat and the roof over your head? Even though.

I don’t see Jesus or Saint Paul or anyone else in the Bible qualifying who deserves help except by the level of a person’s need. The Bible doesn’t teach that only righteous poor people should be helped. It doesn’t say that only good hungry folks ought to be fed. It says feed the hungry.

Paul, instructing Timothy like a son, advised this about money:

But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith, and pierced themselves with many a pang. But flee from these things, you man of God; and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. 1 Tim 6:6-11

So we call ourselves good people. We say we are Christian, but I wonder. What do we desire? What do we pursue? What are we after, exactly? What’s the paycheck for? Do we want to get rich? Are we content? Food and covering, Saint Paul said, are “enough.” Are they enough for us? Are we ever really happy, we who have more than enough reason to be the happiest people in the world?

Again, we have the Apostle Paul, writing to the believers at Philippi:

I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:10-13

We know that all through the Bible are accounts of wealthy men and women who loved and served God. Many kimble7 by you.were mightily used by God, the God who blessed them and gave them abundance. Prosperity and material blessing have always gone along with the people of God. The entire universe is ours, and we are the stewards of so much beauty and abundance. I do not believe in the gospel of poverty any more than I believe in the gospel of prosperity. I don’t see it as an either-or thing. I see real relationship with God much like Paul describes, “I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry.” The secret is gratitude and present-mindedness, knowing that eternity stretches ahead, and we will take nothing with us. It’s a going-out-of-life sale, everything must go.

Good times will come and they will go. We must learn to save enough to share with those in need. We must understand that nothing is permanent. People resist the idea of impermanence. But the only thing eternal is spirit.

Finally, in the book of Hebrews we have:

Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Let your character be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?” Hebrews 13:1-6

true freedom is true generosity

Over and over again, the Bible teaches that the spiritual person ought to be free from the love of money, and that contentment and gratitude are virtues, that sharing is the right thing to do, and that people who have much ought to give much.

We have rich people running for president. Their fiscal charity is questionable. kimble10 by you.Both claim to be Christians, but don’t seem to live much by the Christian play book. In case you don’t know it, Christians and Jews alike are supposed to be giving 10% of their income to charity. That’s 10%, a tithe, not the 1% or less the Obamas gave every year until the year he decided to run for president, and not the 28% the McCains donated to their private foundation, which in turn was supposedly donated primarily to the private schools their kids attended. No, really, that tithe is supposed to be used a little more like, ironically, the 10-13% of their income that Bill and Hillary Clinton have given to charity most of their adult lives, before they were in politics, and before they had people scrutinizing their tax returns. Imagine people as maligned as the Clintons somehow managing to do the right thing with their charitable dollars. Most churchgoers don’t do as much, statistically speaking, so it makes the fact that Bill and Hillary did that much more remarkable.

In Biblical terms, one aspect of being good is loving on the poor by giving to them. This may mean giving as little as 10% and living on 90% of what you make (whether you make $50,000 or $50,000,000 annually, the Bible teaches a flat tax), or it may approach the 50% Jesus suggested. But it is a portion of what you earn, and it also leaves plenty for you to enjoy. Having stuff and enjoying God’s blessings are not sins.

kimble11 by you.

Regardless of which side of the political fence you’re on, if you’re a religious person, your holy book tells you what to do about your excess and your prosperity. Even if you’re without any faith at all, but you claim to be a good person, material virtue is very plain, and it will look like this:

  • Feed the hungry.
  • Clothe the naked.
  • Comfort the sick.
  • Visit the prisoner.
  • Care for the widow and orphan.

Give generously.

You only need about half of what you have; the rest is Jesus tax.

kimble4 by you.

Categories: Citizenship · Money & Stuff
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12 responses so far ↓

  • David Rochester // October 14, 2008 at 4:00 PM | Reply

    Oh wow, this was so interesting. Sosososososo interesting.

    I am not what anyone would call a conspicuous consumer; the only debt I have is my house, and I’ve said, truthfully, on several occasions, that the only reason I have any fear of theft is that I worry the robbers would leave doors open and my kittycats would get out. There’s nothing here in my house that I am attached to, except the cats and a bunch of letters my mom wrote to me when I was in college, and I doubt any thieves would want those.

    What’s kind of funny to me is that everyone who comes to my house remarks upon how nice it is, how lovely. Yes, it is — because it’s clean, and because the things in it reflect my personality in some way. It’s full of books and beaten-up antiques, and that’s about all there is. It’s larger than I actually need, and I wrestled with that endlessly before I bought it, questioning whether I was falling prey to consumerism. But, I figured, I’d earned the right to a little extra space. I still question the lack of logic behind that reasoning.

    Anyway, my point is that I’m not particularly worldly. And yet, I am oh so very judgmental about whom I’d be willing to help. I am willing to help friends whose “worth” I am aware of. I’d help my family. I hate the idea of helping people who just won’t suck it up and get off their backsides and stop having children they can’t afford, and who will drink and smoke my donations. I have people like this in my family … a California branch of cousins are literally like something on a bad afternoon TV talk show, and I absolutely hate them. I don’t want to help them, or anyone who resembles them.

    One reason for this, I think, is that I have worked so hard despite such incalculable odds against me … I never abused alcohol or drugs, I have never brought children into the world whom I knew I couldn’t raise responsibly, I’ve worked full time and supported myself since the age of seventeen.

    So on a “fairness” continuum, I can’t help wondering: how come I have to do all of that, and they don’t? Why did I win the responsibility lottery? Why is it my burden to be responsible enough to support myself and then support people who are irresponsible? I couldn’t be irresponsible if I tried; it’s not in my nature.

    And then I am puzzled by the pretty obvious fact that I see my capabilities as a burden rather than as a gift. I doubt anyone comes into the world really wanting to be a drug-addicted welfare mom. I doubt anyone who is in that condition really actively desires to stay that way. I think if I were a more evolved person, I’d be compassionate. I’d be moved to deliberately share what I have with those who are my exact opposites … with those who can’t pull themselves out of the horrible hole they got dumped into by circumstances that probably weren’t entirely under their control.

    But I’m not that evolved … though I’m sufficiently evolved to realize that my attitude is pretty damned unattractive. And yet, I also know that part of that attitude stems from my belief that if I were in desperate need or trouble, nobody would help me. That is my experience of humankind … that it is cruel, that it is thoughtless, that it persecutes and hates, and that it would be perfectly happy to reduce me to complete desperation. And the great thing is that because I think that, because I have no faith in humanity, I go right ahead and perpetuate that same hateful outlook. I mean, good luck showing up on my doorstep after the fall of Western civilization; I’d probably shoot you as soon as look at you.

    I don’t think I’m alone in having this motivation for being uncharitable. I think it’s hard to be charitable when little charity or kindness has been shown to you. I’m kind of hoping to get over that someday soon, but I don’t know whether it’s possible. I think maybe it is, but I don’t really know.

    The other thing I wanted to say (like I haven’t said enough) is what a troubling dichotomy there is between Christian principle and psychology. Psychology says don’t be an enabler — let people fail, let them hit rock bottom, so they’ll figure out how to get back up by themselves. Spiritual law says help those in need without thinking about whether they deserve it.

    So that’s hard to figure out … what’s healthy vs. what is right; what’s healthy in one’s personal life vs. what is right on a universal scale.

    I do support my local no-kill animal shelter, though. So I’m not completely a lost cause. :-)

  • Alida // October 14, 2008 at 7:04 PM | Reply

    I feel as David does, although I wouldn’t use the word judgmental in whom I choose to help:) I am particular about who I choose to help. The only to organizations that I donate money to are Heifer International and Habitat for Humanity. I am also a volunteer for Habitat.

    These two organizations help people in wonderful ways but I wouldn’t call them charities. The people they help, must be involved in the process and in turn must help others.

    I know if I give someone standing in the corner a few bucks, I shouldn’t wonder what they are going to spend it on. After all, a gift does not belong to the giver, but to the person that receives it. I haven’t evolved to that level. I still feel it’s my money and I want to make sure it’s put to good use. after all I worked really hard for it.

    Gosh, I feel like a heal even writing this. I guess I have a lot of work to do yet.

  • henitsirk // October 14, 2008 at 9:34 PM | Reply

    Jesus tax? The Bible flat tax? That is just frickin’ hilarious! I think that’s what tithing should be called, all the time :-)

    I struggle with money a lot. I feel like we work hard, aren’t overly consuming, and still don’t really have “enough”, because we essentially are still living paycheck to paycheck. But then I think of the people in Haiti, or heck, the people across town here, who are food insecure, or count “covering” as a corrugated tin shack or a roach-infested hotel room. I even think about the pioneers who settled this part of our country, who came with what they could carry in a single wagon, and built their homes with hand tools and their own labor. That’s not having “enough”, and that’s working hard. I sit on my tuchus all day at a computer in climate-controlled comfort, for heaven’s sake! I can go to the grocery store and more or less buy whatever I want from a dazzling array of choices.

    I try to remember that money is not an end in and of itself; rather, it is a tool to achieve other things. It isn’t a thing, it’s a process, something that moves. That helps, a little.

    Welfare and other social services are a tough nut too. I have a close relative who was on welfare for many years. I used to help her out with cash occasionally, and co-signed on a car for her, which she defaulted on. I even offered to have one of her kids live with me when she was in dire straights at one point.

    But then, I felt like she wasn’t making very good choices. She had her first kid at 17, was not very well educated (though she is pretty smart), had no stable social network (I lived 350 miles away), was at one point doing drugs and living with a porn actress, and was burning all her bridges pretty fast. She now has 5 kids (by 3 dads) at age 29, and is in a fairly stable relationship.

    Now, as you point out, it shouldn’t matter that I don’t approve of her life choices. I should still help her, if I am to do as Jesus taught.

    So where does it come from, this unwillingness to help? It feels like fear–fear that if I give something to her, I won’t have enough for my own family. Fear that I have to keep everything close at hand in case more doesn’t come. A feeling that I should prioritize “my own” first. Fear that I’ll look foolish for giving away hard-earned money to someone who will fritter it away.

    But yet I strongly believe that there should be social services on a national level. I think all people should have access to health care, at the very least. Direct financial benefits are a little more shaky for me. Social security, which once was meant to help those who did not have an income once they were unable to work, has transmogrified into an entitlement of voluntary retirement. Something feels wrong there. Same with unemployment, to a degree, though I can look on that as a form of emergency insurance.

    And then there’s the difference between giving someone money, and helping them achieve something. If my relative asked me for money to help her get some vocational training, I would have helped her. I guess it’s related to what David mentioned, about being an enabler. In the same vein, I like what Heifer International does, because they give people a start on a livelihood, not just throw money at a a problem.

    But again, I’m putting qualifications on what Jesus said should be very, very simple. Darn. This is hard.

  • Irene // October 14, 2008 at 9:43 PM | Reply

    Gee this is a really sticky one. I’m always wishing I had just a bit more money – to fix this bit in the house, get another small water tank, to buy more materials for my work. Even getting things for my garden – plants, cow poo, mulch. Sometimes I wish I had some nice new clothes or shoes, but I’m not so attached to those things now.
    But I choose to be where I am. I have a roof over my head, food in my mouth, and people who love me. I do know how lucky I am, and remind myself of this constantly when I think I am missing out somehow. Also, I don’t go out and get a ‘real job’ to make better money. I know in some ways I am selfish and lacking in responsibility here due to my privileged situation. There are issues that are too personal to go into here to explain why I am saying this, but I know its true.
    On the other hand, I do try to give when I can, helping others around me when they need it. It’s rarely money, because I’m usually skint. There will be others around me who will be better rewarded for helping me! And I try to be kind (and keep that nasty dragon behind me! ;) )

    This all leads me to think of – is it called ‘the butterfly effect’? When our actions cause others to go and give in a similar vein of feeling to the next person they see? So when we are aggressive, it just rolls on from there; or if we smile, and someone else smiles back, it rolls on to the next situation… I once saw a film (from Iceland, or Denmark? Unfortunately I forget the title) about this, taken to the extreme in violence – it was horrifying, truly sickening – but it really landed that message home to me about our personal responsibility for how we act towards one another in the smallest of ways. How the smallest aggression towards one person can lead to an even larger one in the next person’s interaction with another. And on it goes.
    In contrast to this understanding, when on the street, I may be approached by a young guy or girl begging for money – usually drug addicts or alcoholics or both. The last thing I want to do is support their habit, so I say no. But I still feel bad – what effect have I caused to roll on from there? And even then, what about that individual’s responsibility for changing their own lives? Or that of a society and the structures it needs to help the needy or sick or drug-addled? In a caring, loving, ideal world, wouldn’t it all work out somehow within the community?
    But thats not the reality of we humans, is it? I saw on a television report about Wall Street last night that the big financiers who used to give big money to those organisations that feed the homeless or poor – they have stopped doing so due to the market crash. And the government bails out big business, but not the ones feeding the poor??

    Too many questions, I’m sorry. I guess I better just stick with ‘what am I doing about it?’ I see nothing I have to say weighs up with the Jesus Tax.

  • helenl // October 14, 2008 at 10:24 PM | Reply

    You have me, Eve. I’m not a very good Christian.

  • David Rochester // October 15, 2008 at 2:00 AM | Reply

    I came back with another thought, which has to do with a different way to think about money.

    Perhaps for those of us who are troubled by the idea of giving money to the “undeserving” … a more palatable idea would be that our own money buys us leisure time to volunteer with organizations who help people to learn basic life skills, or volunteer time rather than money at a homeless shelter or whatever.

    Now it’s anyone’s guess as to why I’d rather spend time volunteering than give up money to some faceless person; it would be a lot easier to give money, right? But I’d be willing to bet that a lot of people would find volunteering time to be more palatable.

  • David Rochester // October 15, 2008 at 2:01 AM | Reply

    I shouldn’t type after midnight, because then I say “palatable” all the time.

  • Lisa Anne // October 15, 2008 at 9:42 AM | Reply

    I have been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and find what you write very inspiring and always challenging me to look at myself. I do not follow party line politics or dogmatic church doctrines and really believe the only change in the world comes through our own actions. For the first time in my life I am making a livable income, live in comfortable (too big) home, and have a quality of life most will never know. I feel like I have too much and have struggled to make time to do for others because I have been so involved with ME. Time to get off my duff and start putting this into action.

  • Eve // October 15, 2008 at 9:58 AM | Reply

    David, all the points you raise are very good and most people, I’d guess, who are responsible have the same concerns. Christianity and psychology are not so much at odds… I just haven’t finished writing about the other side of the coin (there always is one, isn’t there?). Christianity is not a religion of wanton disregard for personal responsibility. And yet the Bible states unequivocally that God is a God of love, and that He causes the rain “to fall on the evil and the good alike.” He’s a merciful God and so if we are made in his image, we’re to be merciful, too.

    I have seen so much evil in my child welfare and advocacy work, so much pain resulting from evil in my practice, and learned firsthand, as the mother of adopted children who were abused, neglected, and then abandoned just how bad people can really be. I do not want to enable, support, or condone evil, depraved behavior.

    But then you have that “if you have two tunics, and see someone with none, give…”. I think if we step back from literalism and we start looking also at the spirit of what Jesus taught, we will see what he wanted us to see, which is probably that we are wildly blessed, that most of us who are seekers already have more than enough bounty; that there are people with nothing; that we are to keep our eyes open for opportunities to share. And that we are never to be so attached to our stuff that we won’t act to relieve suffering.

  • Eve // October 15, 2008 at 10:06 AM | Reply

    David, this is in response to your 2nd comment. Shoot, you’re so quick! You’re going right to the individual responsibility part, which is also where I’m going. I don’t have a lot of answers for my own self, much less for others. But I’ve thought that since the economy is on the collective mind, I could meander around and write about it.

    That part where Jesus taught, “if you have two tunics, and you see…”. I think that the individual participation comes in the “and you see” part. I’m going along through life; I see a need; I am moved and I have goods. I act.

    You’re a tax-gatherer in the crowd listening to Jesus. You ask, “What about me? What am I to do if I want to be a good tree, bearing good fruit?” Jesus says, “Don’t collect more than you’re told.” In other words, don’t be an extortionist, don’t be greedy for yourself or for your government, don’t torture people economically; be fair. Treat others as you would want to be treated if the tables were turned.”

    The one-on-one volunteering, whether to Habitat for Humanity, as Alida does, or whether it’s the missionary families my husband and I support, or whether it’s taking canned food to the food pantry; all involves the antithesis of facelessness, in the sense that our hands and feet are involved somehow. I see what you mean, David, and I agree. I think the “if you see…” a need part is where he wanted to get us.

  • Eve // October 15, 2008 at 10:09 AM | Reply

    Lisa Anne, it’s nice to have you here. Welcome.

    I think I could hazard a guess that I have a bigger house than most people who read this blog. My family is bigger, of course. And I have way more stuff than I need. I know this for sure, because when we were first married we were poor and had a tiny little house and we were blissfully happy. Stuff can be wonderful, but it’s just stuff.

    Maslow theorized that as we move past subsistence living and manage to survive, we evolve to a robust sort of humanness that people always struggling to survive can’t experience. I think if we can help someone, we should. But I know, like most who have commented, that you can help and help and help and never really help some people. What then?

    Maybe we can figure some of this out. :o )

  • David // October 15, 2008 at 10:52 AM | Reply

    Looking forward to your further musings about this … the topic is one I’ve fretted over for quite some time, not least because I have an endlessly needy and nonfunctional friend to whom I have cut off any assistance beyond my guaranteed willingness to talk him through his (self-caused) crises. My seeming lack of generosity bothers me, and I was also bothered by throwing money down a rathole, so to speak … the only way to avoid it was to micromanage him as though I were his mother, by doing things like accompanying him to the pharmacy and paying for his blood pressure medication on the spot, so he wouldn’t spend the money on going to the movies.

    I’m pretty sure the micromanaging was just plain wrong in every sense, and so was his misuse of my assistance. My compromise of “Well, if you’re starving and homeless, it’s probably your own fault, but hey, you can always call to talk about it and I’ll help you craft a solution” seems to me both eminently appropriate and completely dreadful.

    So, yeah. Timely topic.

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